Found myself in emergency surgery this weekend……
I’m not really sure where to go from there. That one phrase holds so much emotion and meaning that I’m not sure I could begin to explain it. I got to a point of pain this weekend that caused me to think I was going to pass out and that jumping off my balcony might be a good option. (I wouldn’t, actually, because with my luck I’d hit the lilac bush below and wind up paralyzed, but it seemed appealing at the time)
Now I’m feeling sorry for myself, but not because I was sick and in pain, but because I can’t workout for ANOTHER week. It’s been since Tuesday already!! I’ve been on the couch/in hospital for 4 days. I’m not used to missing more than a day or so at the gym, and now being told I’m not allowed to workout makes it worse. Yes, I am having a pity party.
Yes, I understand that working out could exacerbate the problem.
No, I do not ever want to go through that pain every again.
Yes, I will listen to the doctor.
But I don’t have to be happy about it, and now that I’m not worried about my health, I think I should get a moment to be pissed off.
I’m not yet at the point of being able to use the anger to my advantage….
….but I’m going to try.
I’m going to have to really concentrate on clean living while not being able to workout. Considering that my eating has been my problem to date, and considering that emotional & bored eating are my biggest enemy, I’m frightened, quite honestly.
I didn’t have a choice in the reasons for winding up in the hospital and I was so gung-ho to be dedicated to the workouts and food plan – especially for the next six weeks leading up to my trip to Belize. How will I lose the weight I wanted to lose if I can’t workout????
I feel really good, but I know that things can turn around in an instant and if they doctors say to wait a week, then I should wait. Just don’t expect me to be thrilled.
By the time I reached the end of this post, and re-read it…..I decided this applied: